first off
let me apologize for my moodiness and behaviour for the past few days
as well as for the days to come..

brush my hair
hold my hand
take me into your arms
and hold me tight
a feather on my cheek
as well as the wetness on it
warmth in my heart
as well as the ache
light in my eyes
as well as the shimmer
butterflies in my stomach
curling up my toes
smile on my face
as well as a frown

randomness of it wont make sense to anyone

the little little things just seem to add up

p/s: i'm scared. and i dont want to regret again. i'll spend more time with you i promise.

the onslaught of fasting month and raya has been reminding me that i should cherish those around me more.
the family finally took a family portrait together but again, with some people missing.
it has never been full since .... for a looong time
as the month of syawal is coming to an end,
i'll admit that when it arrived, listening to the takbir for once, (i've never listened to it coz i always tear up) of course, when i did, i teared up.
memories of yester-years..
of the tau hueys, of the hugs and kisses and of the weirdness of seeing that in a glass of water
sadly, that's all i remember. being the favoured grand daughter.
would it have been different if she was still here with us?


in case you non-muslims didn't know,
during the fasting month, evil demons get locked away and the souls of those who have passed away "return" to be with their families.
and no, there's no visa for any of the evil demons..
i believe god doesn't make any mistakes.