nothing to say
wanted to blog abt interesting n funny n good things
but ended up getting pissed
so i dont want to blog abt tt alr
it's my freaking choice
we're no longer living in the 18th freaking century
everyone is entitled to their own choices
and i can jolly well make my own decisions without any of you
i have my pride
my dignity
i just feel like telling you how i feel
but it wont solve anything
dont know whether it'll make thigs worst
and i dont want to bcoz tt'll make me more vulnerable
but somehow i've been doing the things i said i wouldnt
despite warning bells in my head
no matter what i do
it just never seems enough
i wish i was migrating far far away
wish i was anywhere but here
wish the world will swallow me whole
wish i had a shoulder to lean on now
in loving memory...
9:47:00 pm
YYYYY
HERE IT IS!!
my btt results. and i passed
i swear i was never happier to see my best friend in my whole life. lol
i was sooo freaking nervous yesterday before the test
luckily, coincidentally, fad was there accompanying her fir to book test for his bike. =))
thanks for the support fadila n fir. =D
aft tt went to meet eoin sara n matt at bugis
had sakae. =)
didnt eat much coz i forgot i had pancakes for breakfast
sara n matt ate the most
wish i had a bigger appetite tt day but my headache was killing my brain cells
and hunger.
walked arnd at bhg aft tt coz sara had voucher
i seriously think some people need to review the way they treat customers
not talk on the phone, answer phone calls when you're talking and entertaining a customer
or wait til 5-10 minutes standing there doin nothing when you can see that there's only one freaking counter open for customers to buy movie tickets
aft tt went to tcc for drinks. =)
i swear certain ppl (not saying who) are prone to getting conned
poor eoin =x lol
look at the size of his drink.
its proportionate to the size in the menu.LOL
The TCC there has a really great, romantic n classy embiance. =D
I swear i will never go for interviews at south bridge road
and you ppl shouldnt either
after getting drenched from home to yishun interchange, rivervale, then at clarke quay,
south bridge rd brings back nightmares
after searching for over half an hour or close to 45 mins IN THE FREAKING RAIN
SQUEEZING 3 FREAKING PPL using 1 umbrella, n finding out the place is some shophouse, ulu, scary place, i gv up. -.-
went shopping aft tt at taka =))
bought my lancome blusher n eyeliner
wanted to get the caramel lip gloss but
maybe some other time
but its sooooooooo yummmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy =))
my friends are gg overseas.=((
BON VOYAGE! AU REVOIR! TO:
ANJANA
KHAIRINA
LEONARD
EOIN
VIVIAN
EILEEN
all fb ppl gg genting
12:06:00 am
YYYYY
but i dont want you to know
i need you i need you i need you sooooo
and i'll never let you gooOo
my boy lollipop.
you make my heart goooo giddy-up
you set the world on fire...
damn fadila for making that stupid song stuck in my head. -.-
bleahx.
hmmm since she has such fugly looking picts of me on her blog.
i should have some of hers on mine too.
provided i can find it n scan it into my comp.
lazy...
when i can find the time =))
did i mention i wore braces and fugly looking glasses n had fugly tied up hair in sec sch?
ok i look fugly in sec sch. =x
laalalala.
i just earned $$$ today. =))
rude wake up call from my mom. ok not so rude coz it was 12pm and the only reason why i said rude coz i slept at 530am =S
niwaes as i was saying, wake up call from my mom asking me come down to sub as a receptionist at her work place.
so i showered like uber fast, took me like 7 mins to decide what to wear coz cant wear jeans, -.- then cabbed dow to marsiling.
lucky me got cab straight away.
so reached in 1 hr since the time of call. quite proud of myself. =))
and worked til 430
well not bad
quite scary at first n i think i messed up some things =S
the stupid scary phoneeven earned a cupcake for my job =))
ok well i didnt earn it
it was my mom's student's birthday so she gave me one. =)
ok so i was sooooo eager to bake when i reached home.
bought everything
had my "healthy" dinner comprising of salad, salad n ouh salad. LOL. =))
then... the oven wasnt working
urghhh sooooooo irritating! pfft.
10:15:00 pm
YYYYY
soo fattening. =S
think coz hari raya coming soon
mommy already book my holidays as days where i have to do spring or rather autumn cleaning n bake cookies. -.-
nvm
holidays
i feel like baking anyways
but bake cookies n brownies only
=))
don feel like house cleaning though
i need to wake up early n start jogging again. sian...
lets see the list of sports i've done since i can remember........
hmm
running, swimming, badminton, rock climbing, para sailing, ballet, hip hop dancing, soccer(yes soccer), long jump, squash, snorkeling, cant remember already
yeah ok matthew you beat me already -.-
wanna swim n play tennis without getting tanned can??
holidays are here. and im like sleeping like a pig. waking up at 3-4 pm since friday.
finally man u won their first match of the season... -.- against tottenham. yay nani! hahaha
so uluckily cursed this season. pfft
nvm...
was watching liverpool n sunderland match yest with my cousins
soo of course my mom was watching also
i swear i became deaf or my hearing range decreased by 1000hz.-.-
she kept screaming. pfft...
now anime, drama watching, novel reading days are here again! yay!
i miss my tv watching days... like lizzie mcguire, totally spies
i sound like a total girl. chick flicks and all. ok i like high school musical ok? is that a crime? even though the songs are getting over rated i like the movie. and the sequel is coming out. yay! haha. sue me for being a grl ok?? if you can! dont tell me all of u reading my blog never liked the movie at lease once before lo..
im a sucker for chick flicks, romance novels(not those r-rated kind mind you), etc. =))
going to the library just now reminds me that
when i was youngi used to borrow books abt cat breeds, pet care
borrowing books abt paris, mauritius, england, scotland, etc..
hahaha
and dream n dream abt gg to those places, owning that kind n this kind of cat,
dreaming of what kind of funiture n colour walls n decorations i wanna have.
sheesh... i sound crazy...
well i guess im those kind of kid who likes to day dream abt her life.
bleahx.
when i was young, i used to dress up in princess gowns, n wear my mom's high heels, n walk arnd at home. LOL. told you im a typical grl. fcuk i sound retarded but i miss being young n carefree.
oh n any guy reading this, for heavens sake don get scared when ur gf admires a wedding gown or talks abt what she wants at her wedding. -____-
she's just dreaming. usually not with you, she's imagining her OWN SELF in a wedding gown, her wedding day, etc. =D
lalala..
after this sem's media related modules n talks by guest lecturers, i wonder exactly waht kind of media job i can actually do.
i cant do media sales, advertising, not v good at writing but maybe thinking of being clumnists n feature writers. aiya dunno
suddenly feel like writing abt my dreams as a little grl.
when i was young, i used to want to be:
a princess
a teacher
a wedding dress designer
a doctor
an actress
an air stewardess
a vet
an author
a policewoman
a model
a tennis player
and the list goes ooooon n ooon n oooon
now, i just want to be a kid again. =)
oo i just saw an ad on sofitel resort in malaysia.
miss gg there every sch holiday in secondary school with my cousins.
heck i miss gg on holidays! period.
i shall bake tmr. decided. yeah!!
i miss you more than ever n i dunno what to do do you? haiz... will i even see you during this holidays?
1:33:00 am
YYYYY
holidays are finally here! yay!!
enjoy enjoy!
anyone got lobang for work?
i wanna work and earn money!! $_$ LOL
fasting month coming soon though. hmm
time passes by so quickly.
i wanna go on a holiday.
i dont know why but im missing you even more so today
watched rush hour 3 yesterday.
no. thurs.
was on impulse n we bumped into charlene n reyn.
-_-
and super coincidental, we sat in front of them somemore.
wtheck
hahaha...
i need to do smtg during the holidays
go on holiday, take up tennis, jog, swim, read, etc
i wonder what the holidays will bring?
which reminds me,
i found my musical snowglobe heaven
and its in singapore. LOL.
ok the shop doesnt just sell musical snowglobes but other action figurines as well.
super duper nice big snow globes la. im in loooove
studying and sleepless nights have taken a toll on everyone
i bet my classmates slept in today.
including me
slept early coz my body couldn't take it.
woke up at 10am at first
then went back to sleep til 4pm. =D
im a pig
i don care
im tired
=))
12:52:00 am
YYYYY
ate tau hway, double cheeseburger, kway teow, sushi and chicken mcnuggets.
i feel so fattttyyyyyy now. i shall go and puke some of the food out. lol
kidding.
damn it. feel fat. eat so much. i dowan study at mac. study there, eat there.
even though i didnt want to eat that stupid chicken mcnugget meal, in the end, i did.
haiz.... feel so chubby and heavy. =((
fasting month coming up. nvm.
currently on replay are these 3 songs:
amazed-lonestar
better than me-hinder
lips of an angel-hinder
some lyrics from the 3 songs
lips of an angel
honey why u calling me
so late
its kinda hard to talk right now
honey why u call is every thing ok
i gotta whisper because i cant be too loud
well my girl's in the next room
sometimes i wish she was you
i guess we never really moved on
its really good to hear ur voice
saying my name it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
amazed
everytime our eyes meet
this feeling inside me
is almost more then i can take
baby when u touch me
i can feel how much u love me
it just blows me away
i never been this close to anyone
or anything
i can hear ur thoughts
i can see ur dreams
i dont know how u do what u do
im so in love with you
it just keeps getting better
i wanna spend the rest of my life
with u by my side
forever n ever
every little thing that u do
baby im amazed by you
better than me
i think u can do much better then me
after all the lies that i made u believe
guilt kicks in and i start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
i told myself i wont miss you
but i remember
what it feels like beside you
i really miss ur hair in my face
and the way your innocence taste
and i think you should know this
you deserve much better than me
no significance in my life
i just like the songs n lyrics
11:17:00 pm
YYYYY
a) dou hua/tau hway
b) donuts 
c) spicy tuna pasta from coffee bean
d) durians - again 
e) popcorn
f) beef kway teow
g) soup soup soup!! any soup as long not those plain chicken rice soup. -.-
h) sushi even though i just ate it like few days ago. =( 
sucks. i hate studying. esp when i don have the mood to. =((
raaaaaaaaar i am sooooo slacking now..=((
i miss you even though i dont want to.
sometimes, we make wrong decisions
but if you don take the risk, you will never find out
but some risks just shouldn't be taken, no matter what
taking drugs, cant think of any other stuff right now.
sometimes, we wish we can turn back the hands of time
but, you just have to think that, hey you made your choice,
even though it may not be the best, too bad, learn from it, don repeat it
sometimes, you wish things would remain the same as before, but
people change, mistakes are made, ya da ya da ya da
this is sooooooo random. dunno what the fcuk im talking abt also. =S hahaha
killing time b4 i start studying for pmm again. =(
11:54:00 pm
YYYYY
thanks matt. =) see im so nice. =D
not bad ba the place. nice atmosphere n nice food.
went to study at unied square today coz i get super distracted at home by the lappy, bed n tv
i swear i go there more often in 1 year then i do in my whole 10 years from pri 1-sec 4 -.-
drank a cup of cappucino at mac. erm not bad la. i like the chocolate powder and froth only. =D 
ok la quite fruitful i must say. =)
slacked abit aft tt at mosquito infected park. -.-
and went back aft tt
listening to a song i havent heard in months!
used to be favourite songs.
last night and a lonely september
Last Night
If I told you once, I told you twice,
you can see it in my eyes.
I'm all cried out, with nothing to say.
You're everything I wanted to be.
If you could only see,
your heart belongs to me.
I love you so much,
I'm yearning for your touch.
Come and set me free, forever yours I'll be,
baby won't you come and take this pain away.........
[Diddy:] Last night,
I couldn't even get an answer.
Tried to call, but my pride wouldn't let me dial.
And I'm sitting here,
with this blank expression.
And the way I feel,
I wanna curl up like a child.
[Keyshia:] I need you,
and you need me.
This is so plain to see,
and I will never let you go and,
I will always love you so. I will...
If you could only see,
your heart belongs to me.
I love you so much,
I'm yearning for your touch.
Come and set me free,
forever yours I'll be,
baby won't you come and take this pain away.....
my last night dance partner. i miss dancing
"A Lonely September"
I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out'
cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind
[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did
I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight
I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove
chorus
And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did
1:13:00 am
YYYYY
i am such a pig.
slept in the evening. oh well. don care.
having headache now coz some old witch kept nagging at me abt my clothes, the way i eat, etc etc. -.- don like her. =p
yay! holidays are finally here! not officially though. exams in 7 days. -.-
but we already "celebrated" by spending time at esplanade. while the mats n minahs were away of course. =D
cam whored there alot hahaha..
didn't feel much like celebrating though. french sucked. sorry. but im happy coz i got A for PMM! YES AH!!!! though some ppl may think its unfair tt we got A, but hey, I AM HAPPY so don fcuking spoil it for me. Charlene n i worked hard for it. =p
some pictures
trying to erase ur memories and face away. cried myself to sleep. i really shouldn't love you i just can't turn away im trying my best to let go off you. my decision has been made. but somehow i still wish things would turn out for the better
my emo pict =D
i wish i could erase all the memories of you away.
even the good ones
because everytime i think of them, i remember the mistakes i've made and the misery you've caused. how in the world i could be so dumb as to forget them, i dont know. i hate what i've become now because of you. hate how i think now because of you. i wish i was never with you. and more than often i wish i never went back to you. ignoring the warnings of my friends was the worst mistake i've ever made.
7:57:00 pm
YYYYY
but yay! i love you!
hahahaha.
went to watch ndp rehearsal with fad yesterday.
well part of it sucked coz it was rehearsals thus:
1) no fireworks
2) no kit chan
3) alot of the performances were empty save for the helpers holding up plank cards saying "kit chan" or "200 people" -.- or some other nonsense
4) performers not in their full costume.
sheesh. nevertheless, i still went! and sat there! and had fun cam whoring with my bestie. LOL.
and i don bully fadila lo... she bullies me =D lol
love you bitch. thanks.. =))
love this picture!! 
she looks damn bitchy n i look fugly
i love the look of town at night!well we left halfway anyways. coz i was dozing off. ooopsss
i only liked the sea display and all those before that.
saw ila on the way out
ate at thai express at esplanade
then went to bay beats awhile
saw ppl i know
ppl i absolutely hate to see on the face of this planet
SOOOOOOOOO many freaking mats n minahs. raaaar
hate tt place.
and went home soon aft getting the stickers [she loves them] -.-
bumped into min hui and his friends
but didnt chill with them
coz ms. fad has to work today. =D
oh well... had fun =D
1:08:00 am
YYYYY
sick sick sick
i hate my runny nose
i hate my aching stomach
i hate my body right now.
i need medicine
but i hate hospitals.
they have this scent that just does things to ur insides
gv u goosebumps
n make u sad.
don like
don like
someone asked if i wanted to enter university
haiz... sucky
i wish i can
dont think i can though
bleahx...
fairytales are meant for dreaming
just like you
a dream out of reach
lalalala...
editing sucks.
well... sometimes. =((
i hate my jw results
i hate sch.
i hate exams.
im in a cranky mood.
aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhh
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
i lost my house key
bought stuff today except the neccessities
bah
stupid
idiotic
annoying
and im like keying in this entry extra extra hard
12:26:00 am
YYYYY
how in hell do ppl like this exist???
re-writing means write all over again.
if i wanted u to correct your sentence or whatever i'd gv u tt para or sentence to correct
wtf wtf wtf. angryyyyyyy
pissed off!
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!
i don wanna do work alr. lost the mood.
niwaes, i realise i keep saying niwaes on my blog. -.-
niwaes, was looking through all my old photographs in sec school and other stuff
and sudd hit by a sense of nostalgia.
i hate those kinda feelings
with you, i onl remember the bad moments. =S
though i wish i could forget ur existence altogether.
im happy i have these people in my life, to make it less dull, happier, full of everything one could ask for. and i miss some people. having lunch with gina on monday made me miss those times i had dinner with vi, eileen, sabby n her at north, chillin, dancing, etc. hellooo??? i miss you girls.
fadila gal, even though we rarely meet, rarely talk, i still love u and i still miss u even though i jsut saw u on sat. well, absence makes the heart grow fonder and know tt u're still in mine. =) wtheck my post sounds like im dying soon. =S oh well... love you gal.
ila, thanks for all your comforting hugs and funny jokes tt have made me laugh and cheered up =))
charlene.charlame.sharlene.charlain. lol. so many names for you. dunno whether u'll read this but thank you and im so sorry tt u've been at the receiving end of my mood swings of late. =S i love ur cold jokes though i may not seem to respond to them =D
matthew choong. even though i don believe u've been sent by god to brighten our miserable lives, im really glad to have u as a friend coz u say the most idiotic things tt crack me up. cheers to rabbitism. =) [this one kana forced to write one =p] kidding... =))
and sara, iqah, eoin, leonard, shafinah, kel, cindy, habez, gina, vi, sabby, eileen for making this world seem bearable when it sucks.
i wish holidays would faster come!!! budden the impending decisions that will cloud my mind are not v welcoming. wish i was gg on a holiday like leo.. europeeeeee. *drools*
eiffel tower.. *DROOOOOOOLS* hahahahah
curse you buscuits for making me cough at 3am!
2:31:00 am
YYYYY