sugar, spice, and everything nice ♡

oh well
here i am
on a super early monday morning, blogging when i'm suppose to be doing work
no mood to do work now coz i feel damn lazy and tired
but i can't go to sleep yet coz i have yet to do my script for today's presentation. URGHHHH

look at the mess on my bed even if i wanted to i cant fall asleep on this heap of rubbish. =S
oh well i shall blog abt all the things that've happened.

first, there was the trip to lau pa sat. compliments to our journalistic writing project, me, ila, charlene, matt, leo n eoin went to lau pa sat to write abt the record breaking attempt for the longest and most no. of ppl bbq-ing satay. -.- we thought it was gg to be so lame boring.
it was super fun. but my cam died half way so i had to use my hp in the end. bleahx. got to eat satay after that. so cool. i felt like a real reporter. =x lol. singapore made it to the guiness book of world records! woohoo. hahaha.

went to watch fireworks at marina aft tt. SOOOOO many ppl. urgh. crowded. but it was super nice nice nice. saw "jellyfishes" and the sea display by the rsaf. cool i want ndp tickets!!!

next! bleahx i must look at my photo album then can remember what has happened.
niwaes, CONGRATULATIONS TRADEMARK!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!
went to watch remix on saturday at youthpark. REGINA, ARJUNA, RYU, LESNER, WEI KEAT, MIKAIL, HUANG PENG AND FARHAN YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!

niwaes, before tt went to watch fad bestie perform at ngee ann city for tapestry. well the stupid rain made the performance delay. met ila n matt aft tt, went to window shop. saw this uber nice guess heels that i sooo wanna get. oops. splurge splurge.

then went to shop hehehe i have reason to buy new shoes when i reached there lol. so bought a new pair of super high red heels. my highest heels. shopped awhile with ila while matt went to eat steam boat. ps. ahem ahem. see you shouldn't have went. =D

niwaes, eoin joined us later at youthpark and he cant believe his sec sch friend can dance so well. -.- where have u been living in sec sch??? regina rocked the house! lol. ok 2nd best female dancer aint so bad. she still the best for me! LOL.

again, the racist remarks from the MCs. ermm well shall not comment. at least not as bad as last year's. eoin made a remark abt the place being a hangout for those kinda ppl. -.- yeah yeah yeah. maybe lo. hahahaha. from what i've seen at various performances, i think so. shall not elaborate.

endless nights, sleepless nights are here to stay. my eyebags are permanently crafted on my face. =S urgh ugly. that's the reason you ppl see me in glasses more often nowadays. its to hide those ugly fugly eyebags n sore eyes from sleepless nights. which is becoming more and more frequent. =S i would be sooooooo glad once all this is over.

oh daddy just brought in a cup of coffee for me. so nice. =) hahahaha

i fell in love
with the precious moments musical waterglobe when i saw it. ARGGGHH. it costs $72. should i should i???

childhood wish
reminds me off the times i used to twine n twine n twine the thing then it spoils n my mom will scream at me saying i spoilt it
well, fine i did. =p

i want a musical snowglobe =))
and i am sooooooo in love with this

2:31:00 am
YYYYY

i need a break
the pressure of everything is threatening to break me apart
my stomach aches have returned coz i don eat, migraines from lack of sleep
when will this nightmare end?

well TGIF!
confused

11:40:00 pm
YYYYY

my mind is a mess
have you ever been so consumed in guilt, that you see the object of your guilt wherever you turn,
heard it, even though it's not there?
I can't even mourn properly because I'm suppose to be concentrating on projects and school.

The call from yesterday keeps replaying inside my head. That instant my heart dropped to my stomach and i couldn't stop the tears from running and no words could even form on my lips to thank the caller. Her words just painted a picture in my head. One i can't seem to remove even now.

Angry at myself and at them for not paying enough attention, care and whatever. Questions and what ifs keep playing in my mind. did we drive her away? did i spend enough time with her? did i show her how much she meant to me enough? did she know i love her? did i...

regrets again. I'm always regretting the same thing when someone i love leaves. I'm guilty of not showing enough love to those I love. Please stop taking those I love away from me. Or maybe it's a sign telling me I should care more about those around me and show them.

my father gave away 2 of my cats for god knows what reason before without my knowledge. and now, i lost another by my own hand. the house seems quiet. No scratching at my door, no mewing from outside my room door, no mewing to greet me when i enter the kitchen, no mewing of wanting to come out of the toilet.

oh god.i thought all the tears have dried up but its still flowing. people keep telling me its not my fault. but somehow, i still believe it is. thank you ila and charlene for letting me cry on your shoulders when i could no longer tell myself to be strong and hold them back and for hugging me when i needed it most... i love you girls.

maybe to some, it may seem like a stupid reason to cry over a pet. but, once you've lived with them for years, played with them, hugged them, love them, they grow on you and becomes a part of you, just like a human would.

and i am so sorry if i snap at any of you, if i seem selfish, if i seem mean.
the projects, deadlines, upcoming exams, are rearing its ugly head and forming eye bags and dark circles around my eyes and giving me headaches.
i wish i was a better editor, writer, presenter, etc.

12:36:00 am
YYYYY

It is a great joy knowing u made someone laugh n smile. playing with kids makes u happy i guess. i laughed the most i had for the past months. truly laughed with the little angel-devil just now. too bad i cant do that for my friends. its always the other way round. them making me laugh and smile.

where're you? =(
i hate myself for not taking proper care. =( i wonder if she's had anything to eat for the past 2 days. what if she's hurt, hungry, or worst, dies? i'd feel guilty for killing my own pet for the rest of my life. maybe im atoning for my sins by being sick now. retribution. urggh... hate hate hate myself. =S
please god let her come home safely =(

feeling the weight of projects on my head now. wonder why sometimes im blessed with blessed group members who don do their work. =S nvm. shall not complain.

p.s.: im sorry....

1:48:00 am
YYYYY

i just spent half an hour searching the whole block, calling "becky becky" finding my lost black kitten. =S
must be the date. so suey. 4th time getting someone in ica group. bleahx. and i was greeted by disgusting insects that shouldn't walk on this planet when i was walking home. small black rats, cockroaches and lizards. they're probably having a meeting coz its like Friday the 13th and my black cat is the leader or something. -.-

on a not so goosebump-y note

matthew n the ah pek looks exactly the same la. [normal pose]

watched harry potter aft sch just now.
not bad. not as good as the book. some things changed. alot of things missing. well duh. if they remade the whole book, it would've been a 5-10 hour movie or something. lol.

went window shopping arnd vivo aft tt. didn't buy anything. surprising. aft eating dinner at carl's jr. went to clarke quay to slack.
hmm honestly, ive never been to that part of clark quay before. oops. but it was very nice.
saw people flying toy aircraft which had ALOT of colourful lights. super nice. placed some newspapers on the grass, and as though like picnic like tt, we sat down and watched and got wow-ed by the toy aircraft gymnastics.
LOL

crazy moment, having our feet high up in the air...

camwhored alot alot. hahaha. but super tired from all the projects so left early. well relatively early la. im tired n sleepy. gg to sleep soon. nights

this was how we look like at the end of the night. drunk n sleepy. well not drunk really..

tomorrow is my little cousin's birthday. soooo many birthdays. spend n spend. i need money money money. =S

1:14:00 am
YYYYY

lalala. high on coffee....

prawns suck. suck prawns!
arrrghhh. stupid prawns
gave me rashes.
ok fine my fault that i even ate them.
but they looked so pitiful and tempting coz they were so big!
i just had to eat them. =p
itchy itchy scratchy!

still project-ing now. urghhh
looks like my eye bags are going to remain permanently implanted on my face.
BOOOOOOOOOOO. =((

i feel pregnant.
im having the weirdest cravings!
durian, those waffles from bakeries with nutella, tao sa pia and GV nachos
damn it. so much fattening food. =S
CANNOT. just weighed myself just now n i lost weight. =))
so cant put on anymore.

was suppose to go jogging yest morn
but when i woke up at 730am, i felt too lazy. =S
nvm. some other day =))
cant wait for harry potter!! =)
its out TODAY
but doubt it'll be better then transformers!!!!!!!!!

bumblebee love. =D

4:07:00 am
YYYYY

Kids in this generation are soooooo lucky and pampered.
i didn't own an adidas shoe when i was a child
nor did i know the existence of havaianas as a 1 year old girl

i bumped into my cousin with my niece n nephew yesterday. was playing with my little niece in her pram[which is like esprit] -.- when i saw her feet. she had on havainas! OMFG. She's only like 1 year plus???? I was gawking at it. It was the size of my mobile phone la! and it cost like $30+! WAHHHH

the culprit nur dina shazanah

i saw all my grlfriends just now. =))
saw gina when i was walking to school, saw eileen awhile while waiting for my friend, saw sabby when i was waiting for my friend n we had lunch together with christie n ryu. saw vivian during my dinner break... =)) mss all of you gals...

media research management has never been more boring.
im stoning n blogging in class.
and im not listening to SPSS lesson which is important. =S
i too sensitive?

7:27:00 pm
YYYYY

Who knew finding a present for a 5 year old kid could be so hard.
Was walking around United Square trying to find winx club clothes.
Her mother said she like winx club and preferably asked me to get a winx club dress or clothes for her.

This little angel in question is my 5 year old adorable little cousin farah nur liana. She, like any other girl her age, LOVES the cartoon WINX CLUB.

So there i was with matthew[sorry for dragging you along] walking up and down United Square trying to find a shop which sells their merchandise.
Sadly, there weren't any. NO MATTER HOW BIG THE PLACE IS AND NO MATTER HOW MANY KID SHOPS THERE ARE! -.-

There were many disney characters like Cinderella, Ariel, Aurora, Snow White, Winnie the Pooh but NO WINX CLUB! OMG.

In the end, went into POPULAR BOOKSTORE of aAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL places, to buy a handbag for my darling cousin. Got a winx club wrapping paper too.

The things i do for her. sheesh. It's ok. Lucky her that i love her so much.. =p LOL.

I shall never go shopping for little girl or boy gifts again.....
actually i will la... hahahaha. My little cousins are so lucky to have me. =p HARHARHAR.

i sorted out my thoughts and feelings. Thanks to a certain friend. =D
The past, should be left where it is, the past. It is now time to move on, and get on with life.
Things that I've regretted doing, should just be forgotten and left behind.
faaaar faaaaaaar faaaaaaaar behind.
i can't change the past no matter how badly i want to sometimes.

i shall go jogging!

12:05:00 am
YYYYY

finally managed to catch transformers during one of the days this week.
bumblebee is soooooooo cute
i teared when he was being captured.

and optimus prime is soooo well..... leader-ly. im rambling non-existing words but yeah.
its coz i cant think with my nose being so blocked. =S

TGIF!!
had no lessons today coz its sbm graduation day. =D
woke up at 2pm by the sound of my hp's msg alert.
i had a wierd dream.
i was running through the streets of romania, or was it spain? no difference coz the walls look the same. courtesy of goal 2 and blood and chocolate which i was watching before i slept.
charlene, ever so helpful went to find out what my dream meant. -.-

To dream that you are running alone, signifies that you will advance to a higher position and surpass your friends in the race for wealth. Alternatively, you may be running from some situation or from temptation

nonsensical, but i have a feeling that it means the latter.

more projects coming along. another one coming up on monday. sianzation.
now i have 5 projects STILL!
IMM
MBSN
BMMP
JW
PMM-coming soon -.-

ok so i passed mmr. WOAH. MIRACLE. i don understand how our seniors managed a B let alone a D for MMR. her lesson is soooooooooooooooooo 'time to take out laptops and watch movies'. LOL ok im so bad but yeah.

i miss primary school life. =( every memory i had there was good.
and coincidentally, my previous post talked abt first loves and first crushes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI
even though you're now in brunei, and i cant wish you personally... here's to you. =)) cheers!
lots of misses..
memories of primary school life rushing back.

Things you probably didnt know about me when i was in primary school:
1) I was a vice-head prefect =p
2) I was in the girl's soccer team.
3) I was in the track n field team
4) I had pigtails almost every other day.... hahahah

The things I've done in Ahmad Ibrahim Primary School now brings a smile and a shake of the head coz i cant believe how silly i was as a girl. lol. My primary school teachers those i was close to like Mr. Jufri and Mr. Andrew still remember me. =)
coz i was a cute little girl. LMAO.

my cat, is sleeping on my bed, with her legs open wide, her paw covering her face to shield the light and she's lying on her back. -.- randomness but she looks sooo damn cute. =D

alot of things on my mind right now. i need to clear my mind or at least organize it and get things settled. thank you to all those who've cared for me. charlene, ila, iqah, matt, leo, sara[for the other day, i never got to thank you], cassandra, gina, sharon, cherylene[for the tag] =) thank you. and if i didnt mention your name, im sorry but i really appreciate you...

i dont know what to do, what to say, what to feel any longer.
time passes by and it seems like im invisible and just a friend to you. to you

11:08:00 pm
YYYYY

i feel shitty

the biggest apologies to my fellow fb friends
i know i haven been attending for very long
too many things are happening
too soon
too hard

went to school for guest lecture today only

broke down again in public
=S
dunno why
don ask why
coz im afraid i just might break down again
sorry to those who saw

it's tearing up my heart and my motivation to do anything and disrupting my peace of mind.

when you switch on the tv
or when you were young, you were taught that family meant: Father.Mother.I.Love.You
how naive we were. or are.
its so easy to physcho children
but as you grow up, you realize that actually, it's all a myth.
but for some lucky dudes, they get to experience the whole happy family thing
am i doing the best i can for her? am i just here so that this wont break apart?

do those around you really show you their true feelings?
do they treat you to a smile but in their hearts, hope you can just get out of their sight?
who can you trust now? is trust that hard to earn?
they say eavedroppers never hear anything good about themselves.
but what if you weren't eavesdropping but just happen on that bit of information?
why must we always think if the people you think like you actually dont?
why must we think so much until we doubt those that we care for?
why is it so hard to just be understood for once?
why? why? why?
should we always be on our toes, cautious, even with those close to you?
always thinking and pondering of the right thing to say, what not to say, what to do and what not to do, afraid to offend someone, afraid that what you say may be passed around, afraid that what you say may come back to haunt you?

when you were young and a little naive and dumb, did you trust anyone who were your laughing partners and said they were your friends or family?
did you get hurt by most of them in the end?
did they use your words against you?
did they leave you alone and stripped out of happiness when they left and abandoned you?
did they turn their backs on you at the first sign of hardship?
did they help you in times of need?

i feel like the whole world is going against me. shitty, crappy, stressed and on the verge of breaking any moment. emotions running high and dry. life sucks at this moment. god gv me strength to carry on.

9:43:00 pm
YYYYY

im fat
fat fat fat
i can no longer fit into my levis jeans
damn it
which confirms it
im fat!
booohoooo.. =(((((

i blowed my nose damn loudly in class just now
damn embarrassing
had to excuse myself to the toilet
so i can blow my nose in peace. =s
being sick sucks

urghh
the class should do a timetable
of what day n time doing what project meeting
so we can all meet each other without fearing of clash =S
or sit in a room
and rotate meetings
lol
voters for this?

we're like having mass cappsing conversation
me, charlene, cindy, matthew and khai are all cappsing
in the same window
suppose to be discussing randall
but its soo noisy coz all of us discussing other grp projects
=S
hahaha hilarous

urghh projects projects projects!
IMM
RANDALL
CHONG
MMR
JW
FRENCH!!!
sobbbbssss

12:47:00 am
YYYYY

Bonjour,
Je m'appelle isabelle. =D

yes ah. done with french!
hopefully i do well for my firsr french ica.

yesterday, went to go study with charlene at utd square.
sudd decided to go for the closing of the national stadium and go watch singapore vs australia.
-.-
so charlene, shahrin, eoin n me went to watch the match
it was ok
abit dull
singapore missed alot of opportunity.
australia scored 3 goals
two people beside me couldn't decide who to side
harry or singapore, shwartzer or singapore. -.-
hahahaha.
no patriotism at all

then the closing ceremony
they showed all the greatest goals ever in the field
with lionel lewis, and cant remember the other two now coz i just woke up
total there were four athletes.
mhmm... =)
im going to miss the national stadium's kallang wave the most

=D charlene n me. i think the stadium looks quite full..haha

charlene's attempt at photo taking

this year's ndp's going to be at marina.
anyone got free tickets to give me? =D lol

niwaes, while walking back to mrt aft the whole thing
got irritating, noise polluting mats. =S
noisy somemroe so crowded still make so much noise.
they should be fined man

went to dinner or supper la actually at newton
super freaking perspiring by tt time
crapping on the way back

if got tickets to opening ceremony
i wanna go too. =D

1:24:00 pm
YYYYY