sugar, spice, and everything nice ♡

im sick again!
damn it.
three days of grueling open house and practise for HHH.
ITS FINALLY OVER! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a tribute to ginger stars
i love you gals.
we've endured so much together.
crying, laughing, arguing.
i love you gals.
even though the end results wasnt ermmm very nice. hehehe
we tried our best, put in our best.
in just 1 month!
we did it!
its finally over!

congrats to trademark
love all 7 of you! YAY! GO FB!

on fri i was super super sick la
high fever, super coldness that i still felt cold even after doning on 4 layers of clothing
haiz.. felt so shitty.
then sat i forced myself to wake up to go for performance

thank you to all of my friends who cared so much about me
eileen for going to the trouble to wet tissue paper and put on my forehead when i was super sick
shafina for buying lunch and panadol for me
wei keat for buying food for me to eat aft eating panadol
my ginger star girls for understanding me so much.
charlene for consoling me when i was otw home from sch feeling super sick
and all my other friends and seniors encouraging me and giving me support and care.
i love all of you guys!

now, im sick. cough and flu.
yucky.
everytime i bend down my ermm nose runs. hahaha
what a weird way to put it

just got back from concert at singapore conference hall.
listened to the band play.
there's so little people now in the band.
looks underpopulated.
oh well...

i watched devil beside you yest.
SO SO SO SO NICE.
ok biased.

i lazy to upload pictures la... haiz.. maybe another day

10:33:00 pm
YYYYY

WEEEEEEEEEE
what a fun day.

i love our performances just now!
first was open house performance at 1.
then later at night at abt 6 during hady mirza's campus concert!!

HADY!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
cheers from the crowd. NOT ME! I will never say that
HAdy sounds super super good and looks MORE MORE goodlooking in real life
lmao
seriously.

finished syncro for HHH!
YEAH! JIA YOU! WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got alot alot of picts taken
but i super lazy to upload.
photobucket takes too damn long la!
if blogger allows me to cut and past then maybe i'll post picts from just now
but. no. hahaha technology not very advanced. lmao

okokok. tmr another super long day.
nights!!!!

what will happen after?
i dont know.
i hope its something good.

1:08:00 am
YYYYY

I
AM
DAMN
TIRED!

Haiz... God, give me just even abit more energy to continue with my life.

Today dance pract and open house rehearsals.
Not so bad la.
But then today 2nd day of period.
so super cramps came and go, came and go.
idiotic. why can't it choose sunday to come or something
damn bloody hell la
make me feel so uncomfortable and PMS

just now Scripting and Storyboarding presentation
Haiz, i think my group didnt do too well
our theme like not in sync with celebrating Singapore.
SIANZATION!!!! WTH!
haiz... dunno la!

i keep sleeping late, wake up early
damn tired
damn PMS
damn stomach cramps
damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need someone to hug me and reassure me that this is ALL worth it
That it's ok to put out all my energy for that 5 minutes on stage.
Haiz...
Im DRAINED!
PLS give me strength.

SO many couples around me now.
BLEAHX so irritating
ok im jealous. SO SHOOT ME!
of course la everyone wants to feel loved.

me leh? I also want!
But i think im too damn busy that even anyone i like
i wouldn't have time for.
but aiya.......
i just want the feeling of being loved, cared for, manja.
haiz... =(((

sorry to charlene, shaf, ila, reyn, sharon, regina, sab
and whoever else i may have thrown my temper at.
super super sorry.

sometimes, like now, i just wish i had a shoulder to cry on.
I am drained. super tired mentally and physically
I dont even know if i can cope with my exams which are in 1 mth
and my dance.
haiz... someone pls hold me.

fadila girl, I need you!
haiz... even my best friend i rarely get to see.
both of us are too busy. =((
fffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddiiiiiiilllllllaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

11:15:00 pm
YYYYY

haiz...

today was quite a bad day for me
dont know why i sudd feel soooo sooo stress.
cabbed twice today.
to anjana's from sch
and back to sch from ila's
coz not enough time. bloody hell

then aft tt ate lunch cum dinner
then sudd i super super stress abt performance and projects!
haiz. sudd broke down in front of my friends
sorry char, shaf and reyn.

at dance, also felt so pressurized
then broke down again.
f***k la... dont know why i cant handle some stress now.

im just too tired
sleep at 3am everyday
wake up at 7.
haiz...
sorry sharon, regina, eileen and vi
finally finished choreo!! YAY!!!!

haiz.. now trying to memorize script for ss presentation tmr
tmr damn tiring day again.
cannot tahan already.
i want this week to faster2 end!!!

haiz... my heart feels like its coming out of my chest
it feels like its tearing apart.
why does it have to be like this?
what is wrong with me???

11:13:00 pm
YYYYY

haiz...
I AM SHAGGED.
not enough sleep!

just now bong's ica.
so suey.
he came late. ok fine.
then suppose to start at 9 he started at 915. FINE.
then my stupid comp couldn't read the exam given DISKETTE!!!
NOTE THE DISKETTE!
WHAT CENTURY ALREADY LA!
stupid. then had to change comp.
wASTE TIME!

finished the whole thing at 10 but
the stupid .psd file took super long to attach in the email
wtf la. in the end, i left sch at abt 1030!
then cabbed to yishun polyclinic.
the cabdriver mad lor
dont know how to go
in the end i had to gv directions.

super funny la.
before the scanning, i had to drink 3 cups of water and cannot ermm empty my bowels until aft the scanning.
so by the time i was at the polyclinic, i already felt like pee-ing abit
then the nurse and doctor was like asking me,
feel like going to the toilet?
and i was like.. ya...
then they were like... ok good, dont go ok.
hahaha wth.

then during the scan, the doctor kept pressing against my abdomen make me feel
even more like pee-ing la! hahahaha she was like abit more ok.
then aft the whole thing, i was like rocking side to side coz i wanted to pee so badly
almost ran to the toilet ok!

aft tt went back to sch for SS.
PMM lecture cancelled
so did dfvp project earlier
then waited for char and jac to finish open house briefing
then do SS project.

dance aft tt.

oh yeah!
sat some of ginger stars gals went to smu to dance.
choreo0ed finish imma shine.
then sharon and i choreo-ed for gallery.
haha yay! we had the gan jue for it damn cool man!
before tt was the danceworks briefing

J-WRECK 11 MARCH 2007
NGEE ANN CITY
4th group!

aft tt went shopping for shoes and red shirt at PS.
YAY! got nice shirt! and shoes for $36 ONLY
70% disc at flash and splash! hehehehe

JIA YOU GINGER STARS!

10:57:00 pm
YYYYY

finally get to blog.
have been super duper busy lately
projects, open house, HHH, danceworks.
haiz...
sorry to my group members who must
sacrifice their weekends for me
coz i basically cant make it on weekdays.
haiz... i feel bad coz its like i didnt contribute alot.

yest was a happier day
BECAUSE I HAD MY FIRST.......... A!!!!
YAY!!!!
for scripting and storyboarding.
wah! I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY!
FINALLY! GOSH!
THANK GOD!
hehehehe.

I'll be damn busy this whole two weeks.
sat dance
sun project

mon full day sch, rush for ultrasound scanning, go back sch for ica,dance
tues filming, dance
wed dance, rehearsal for open house
thurs open house
fri open house
sat open house and HHH
sun, REST! YAY!

danceworks grp conflict again. small small la.
haiz... whenever got this type of things,
i just dowan to get involved and prefer to walk away.

now eating my dinner.
and my stomach is hurting like shit.
damn it.
what is wrong??? im scared.

my exams are like starting at only the 26th of FEB!!!!!!!!!!!
F***K lor...
why so late one????
i wanna rest! I WANT HOLIDAYS!
I DONT CARE! im going to just not attend lessons!
like this morning's psm lecture.
who cares la... her lesson damn boring.
i study myself better.

9:54:00 pm
YYYYY

i am damn tired!
just ate my dinner
even though im not allowed to eat spicy food according to the doc,
i had a craving for tom yam.
hehehehe
YUMMY!

haiz... have to do projects now.
what to do?
this is called time management.
who ask me to take on so many things at once?
NO ONE but me myself and i.

today, no danceworks coz basically,
ginger star was busy choreo-ing for HHH.
yay! i contributed steps. lmao
nothing la. abit only.
haiz.. im happy with the dance leh. v nice!
hopefully can win.

k shall eat my medicine, drink coffee and do project now
tata.

11:09:00 pm
YYYYY

first time this school year i took MC.
haiz...
anyways didnt really stay at home
went to the polyclinic at around 2 coz mommy insisted i went for body checkup
coz of my stomach pains.
haiz...

took urine test and the doc said it wasnt urine or any infection.
bleahx.
yest went to doc and he said it maybe some infection thingy.
well lucky it isnt.
then have to come back next week for ultrasound scanning.
haiz... im abit scared. abit.

got like 7 medicines to finish now.
but the doc today said i can decide not to take the 2 medicines tt was given yest.
so i only have 5 medicines to finish. BLEAHX! still alot.

haiz... i didnt go for dance also. =( so bored.
sorry to j-wrecked and ginger stars for not being able to make it...

9:15:00 pm
YYYYY

urgh!
i dont feel so well...
i keep feeling tired.

been studying for psm the whole day. =s

dont know why ive been so emo recently.
bleahx.
finally saw daddy aft 4 days.
but then, there's no surprise there.

am i really very different then i used to be?
how come so many ppl keep saying tt?
have i really changed?

11:39:00 pm
YYYYY

my body is in pain.

I'm sick again.
Coughing, fever and my whole body like got no energy and feel so faint.
to top it all of, today my stupid stomach make extra problems for me.
I woke up and i already felt like vomiting. WTH. i think it was the cheese hotdog yesterday.
coz when i ran to the toilet and threw up,
i could taste the disgusting, sour, taste of the cheese hotdog.
don't mean to be disgusting.

hopefully there's nothing wrong with me.
tmr maybe gg to poly for check up
but i super super lazy to wake up early
to QUEUE!
at Polyclinic. =S

After that, I didnt eat the whole day coz my stomach didnt feel very right.
pondered on whether or not to go to school and in the end decided to go
coz got alot of stuff happening today.

aft sch, tried eating mcNuggets but in the end, ate a few fries and one nugget.
coz i felt like puking already. waste money.
Thanks charlene and ila for your concern and for offering to send me home. lol
i love you guys!

*coughs*

Then i went for hip hop hunt practise at studio.
haiz. couldn't get myself high, still felt sooooooo lethargic and sick.

During FB, also the same. Plus it was Put 'em up syncro.
Haiz. so suay! not because i dont like it
but because i was sick so i couldn't like full out, couldn't give the energy.
felt so sadded when i couldnt perform.

Thanks Sharon for constantly asking if i'm ok.
I really felt like fainting.
You know the moment you see stars, you know you're gg to faint that kind?
Yeah it happened a few times.
But gone after a few seconds.

mommy fetched me from sch aft fb.
still got no mood to eat.
So i haven't eaten anything for the whole day except
2 small pieces of chocolate, a few fries and one nugget and water.
haiz... i hate feeling sick.

11:01:00 pm
YYYYY

wah shagged.
been having practise everyday this week
and will be having practises everyday the following weeks.
well except sunday la.

practising for danceworks mainly, hip hop hunt and open house.
my legs are tired.
they need a break.

danced so much just now.
finished choreo-ing AM/PM!
YAY! ^5 sharon!
left one and a half songs. hahaha.

just now while walking at the nursing blk aft dance pract.
vi's phone suddenly got msg-ed
then she was like saying to eileen,

vi: ey why you msg me this kind of thing?
eileen: i where got msg you?
vi: don't bluff la, then what is this [shows eileen her hp]
eileen: i didnt send this!
vi: then how come i got this msg?
eileen: i really didnt! see[shows her sent msgs]

AND REALLY GOT NO SUCH MSG SENT!
so all of us were like crowding around the phone.
then stoopid ronald go and whistle this scary tune
then eileen, sharon and i like. WTH
scream and run lor. eeeiiirreeeee ok! we thought some ghost
then vi was like, do you know that we're near the motuary, WALK NOW!
then all of us walk in pairs. damn scary.
eee! wth!
haiz ok scaring myself. stop it.

I want to do alot of stuff leh!
buy dance shoe
buy sandals
pierce my ear and my navel.
bleahx. save money.

exams coming up.
must study.

11:25:00 pm
YYYYY

i dont know what i'm doing.

just now grp meeting, got major conflict.
haiz... felt soo shitty.
haiz... so long since i cried because of competition
and grp related stuff.
the last time was like SYF 2005.
cried coz of my section, coz of penny and my duet.

now, is like coz of lack of motivation, feel so like wanna quit,
lack of group spirit, haiz.. almost lack of everything la.
feel like not part of the grp like tt. =(
i can't handle that sorta stuff.
i'll just end up crying while letting my thoughts out.
while speaking my mind.
haiz...

shit la. exactly 2 more months to comp.
and i'm feeling like this. wth.

sorry cass coz i wasn't much help just now.
i can't deal with tt sorta stuff, too emotional
i'll just end up crying when i'm speaking my mind.

i need a shoulder to cry on..
everytime someone from the grp quits, i keep thinking that i should do the same
but
i'll tell myself that i should gain the experience, pull through coz im stronger than that.

10:34:00 pm
YYYYY

haiz...
i feel so demoralised
i feel so un-motivated, if there even is such a word as unmotivated.

got back dfvp results and finance. sian. both Cs. Finance expected.
But somehow i expected more for dfvp?
ok improved la but. WTH. soooo..... =((( saddening.
I haven't even got 1 not even 1! A! DAMN IT!
so disheartening!
I really really really HOPE that I get an A for DFVP written test leh.
or something. SS. SHIT.
I think SS ICA3 I'll get another C. or D!

I'm sooo not motivated for DANCEWORKS!
After dance and before I can be sooo hyper.
But when the time comes for dance pract, i feel so down, so low, so... whatever la.
WHY?
I dont know. Probably coz I can't seem to choreo.
Probably coz I don't dance as well as like ALL my group members.
I think I'm probably the worst dancer in the group.
So sad! The guys are all like strong.
The girls, hmm i think better then me la =(((
so disheartening.
No motivation.

Doesn't help that you're acting different around me nowadays.
What happened?

I'm still tired and still in the wedding mood.
NOT MINE! but my cousin's during the sat and sun tt just past.
WAH SUPER SUPER HAPPENING!
and i didnt get enough sleep
coz i couldn't sleep and coz slept late and woke up super early.
it was super fun.
Like Abg faizal's wedding,
of course Lagau was there to escort the kereta pengantin[bride-groom car]
Not as many as Abg Faizal's wedding but still super alot.
hahaha. nice to see.
envious of them to have found each other. =D

caught up with zafrie, abg ridzman, kak sara. yeah
haiz... made me think of love.
I think Nad has it right.
There's no such thing as the one and love.
If there is such a thing as a nice guy, you don't see him around.
lol.

I dont know why I'm feeling so depressed. =(
I'm getting sicker by the day.
Mommy wants me to go Polyclinic for full body checkup but I never have the time.

Please dont treat me indifferently.
I need a body to lean on.

11:18:00 pm
YYYYY

why aren't i studying?
when i have a test tmr???
simple.
i have too much on my mind right now.

damn it.

11:26:00 pm
YYYYY

TMR is the beginning of a new year in school.
not as in ii'm a year 2 already
but begin the year as a student.
oh nvm. i'm talking crap.
i miss my MS0601!!!

went to watch night at the museum just now.
something happened that made me lose my mood.
aft eating a whole packet of hershey's kissable chocolate,
i felt better.
there's nothing that can make you feel any better than chocolates!
*licking lips* yummy!

the movie was damn funny!
lol. I LOVE REXY! lol
i dont know what's up with me and animals.
during eragon, it was saphira, the dragon.
night at the museum, rexy the t-rex.
lol. oh whatever.

got home then cik wan ask me to accompany him highlight hair.
so i went and dyed my hair as well... lol.
Aft tt, was damn hungry so i cooked maggi
for cik wan n myself.
lol

k sleepy. nights!

11:27:00 pm
YYYYY

yo!
back from farhan's place.
woohoo... tired.
11 of us fb juniors went to pasir ris's green park condo where sabrina and farhan live
Lesner, wei keat, peng, fong, albin, ryan, farhan, sharon, vi, regina, sab, evelyn and me
to have fb juniors gathering for new year's eve.
bonding session lol.
bond 13 ppl only lor.
since sab's house is like below farhan's and they live in the same blk,
went to sab's house first.

ordered like 6 pizzas

ate 5 boxes and watched some chinese drama
lol
cam whored alot at her place!
aft tt went to sit2 and talk cock at her room

when it was like 1145, we went up to farhan's place to watch fireworks
WAH! his house. DAMN NICE.
just renovated. soooo continental. I LOVE.
frm his house really can see the fireworks from esplanade!
soo nice!

watched fireworks, cam whore again.
lol.
aft tt, farhan sent me. sharon and fong back.
ok sent sharon back and fong and me to the bus stop coz we were cabbing back to yishun
had fun fun fun...

my new year resolutions:
1) be a better student[study to get gd grades]
2) be a better dancer
3) not eat so much junk food =p[slightly impossible]

the rest, i keep to myself. secret. shhh lol.

2:15:00 am
YYYYY